Our school, like my five children, and like most family businesses, just grew up. The school I started in 1982, tutoring court reporting students in my family dining room, has grown from a half-dozen students to over 300, offering day and evening classes not just to court reporters but also paralegals, legal and medical secretaries, and computer-operator administrators. The Arlington Court Reporting College is now the Arlington Career Institute. The corporation is housed in a 60,000 square-foot building in Grand Prairie, Texas. My husband, an attorney who has served in the Texas Legislature, is our CEO. I am the president. We own a court reporting firm that assists in the training of students, along with our law firm that is active in the legal training of our students.
My husband and I are both 67. Along with 33 employeesÑteachers, administrators, cafeteria workersÑwe have a total of nine family members participating in the business, give or take a pregnancy or two. The same family group that used to grouse and rejoice around the kitchen table is now running what we Texans call Òthe bidness.Ó I am the mother and the Òboss,Ó and those two hats necessitate a very delicate balance between love and supervision.
Raising children until they were out on their own in the world was a challenging experience. Managing them as professionals after they returned to our world as mature adults was quite another. Family business experts will tell you how important it is to keep home and business separate, to make sure family problems donÕt cross the border into the company and disrupt office routines. As one who has been navigating this border for 17 years, I see their point. As a mother, however, I can vouch for how difficult it is to hold the line. In fact, as a mother I admit that I like some of the informality that our family has been able to maintain at our school, despite our growth.
How I got into this
For 25 years I had been a speech-language pathologist and a political activist. Since my husband served in the state legislature during the LBJ era, we had Òwalked in the footsteps of history,Ó to borrow a phrase from Lady Bird Johnson, an early role model of mine.
In 1980, at age 49, it was my turn to continue my education. I enrolled in a college for court reporters in Dallas, Texas. After attending classes for two years, I was asked to teach the beginning part of the course. I enjoyed my students, most of whom were women bent on developing themselves and becoming independent. I often told them, ÒThereÕs no prince out there; gain the skill you need so you can always take care of yourselves.Ó The womenÕs movement was taking hold in our country, and I was a supporter.
When the school I was attending closed in 1981, six of the students persuaded me to tutor them in my home. As the word spread that I was accepting students, I found we were filling up the house, which was already full since I had four children still living thereÑtwo in college, one in high school, and one in grade school. Throw in a cat and a dog; it was pretty crowded.
From this small beginning, we grew into a family business. First, we moved the ÒschoolÓ of about 20 students from our home to my husbandÕs law office. Once again, we grew and had to move into our first stand-alone building, tripling our space. I was proud and excited to see this business develop.
By 1988, the family was pretty well grown up. The children came into positions at the school as they were needed, and as they completed their college degrees. Our oldest son, Jay, came on board as a recruiter after completing his undergraduate degree. We were later joined by my third son, Tom, who cleaned the school while attending college. Next we hired his older brother, Jon, as admissions director after he graduated from the University of Texas. Tom then became business director after he completed college. He was replaced as custodian by my oldest daughter, Catherine, who had enrolled in the school and needed a job to earn her tuition. When she became a court reporter, she handed the mop and pail to our youngest daughter, Laura, who began her custodian tenure at age 15. The mop-and-broom detail seemed to precede promotion to a different job category.
As managers of a new and growing enterprise, we had many responsibilitiesÑkeeping enrollment up, dealing with regulations, finding good teachers, to name a few. Family concerns blended with business issues. I began to be called upon to resolve workplace conflicts with seemingly ancient roots in birth order and sibling rivalries. By this time, some daughters-in-law and sons-in-law were also working for the school. Our family was into a new stage, all working together in the same building. One son says with clenched teeth, ÒEvery day is a family reunion.Ó We laugh and understand. We persevere because it is our family mission to train people, particularly women, so they might have a better life for themselves and their families, and because the school provides a living for our six families.
What I've learned
In the 17 years IÕve spent as a mother helping to run a family business, IÕve had to learn a number of lessons. IÕd like to share them.
Leave motherhood at home, if you can. A mother active in a family business inevitably becomes a stress absorber. I never know what to expect when a daughter or son-in-law steps into my office, closes the door, and says, ÒWe need to talk.Ó This could mean the annual report is due, an employee has just quit, someone needs advice on relations with a spouse, a grandchild needs help in schooling, or weÕre having difficulty with a family member. Just listening relieves the anxiety. If asked for advice, I give it. If not, I keep quiet.
There comes a time when you must make the transition from a mom-and-pop mentality to running your company in a business-like fashion. My children address me ÒMrs. VÓ at the office, and my husband is ÒMr. V.Ó We continue to call family members by their first names; they may ask the students to address them by first names or ÒMr. Vecchio.Ó The ÒMr. VecchioÓ gets confusing, though, since four people may respond.
I frequently have to tell family members, ÒLetÕs talk about personal things after hours.Ó I urge them to leave their childhood at home, and I try to leave my motherhood at home. But itÕs not always easy to police the border between work and family. I often lend a sympathetic, motherly ear to someoneÕs personal problem. Of course, I love it whenever one of my 10 grandchildren shows up for a visit, even if it disrupts the office routine.
Every business needs a captain. The CEO has to be a firm but benevolent person, which is a perfect description of my husband, James Vecchio. It was also important in our particular case to have a lawyer as the captain, since the school is regulated by both the state and Federal governments (most of the students have U.S. Government loans for tuition).
Working in the same company with your spouse, however, is fraught with risks. My husband and I set up our offices in separate parts of the building. Whenever personal matters arise during the work day, we try to wait until we get home to discuss them. Likewise, when at home, we try to avoid business discussions. You need diversion when you work in business together. Watching the evening news together is better than discussing stressful business problems. Those can wait until youÕre in the business setting. Studying history and art along with attending operas are some of the outlets that my husband and I have for getting away from business.
Most days, I try to leave work a couple hours ahead of Mr. Vecchio, to prepare dinner, write to friends and relatives, relax, and, when the season permits, Òsmell the rosesÓ (or in our case, the lovely Texas bluebonnets). That way, if we do have to discuss something that happened at the office, IÕve been away from it for a few hours and can often provide a fresh perspective.
Back up your managers, children included. It is important to back up your administrative staffÑand thatÕs doubly important for decisions by family members. I read an article emphasizing this point by a member of SCORE, an organization of business leaders who consult with companies free of charge. The article said, ÒRemember to back your manager, even though you are sure that because you have lived longer [and] are wiser and more experienced, your judgment is better than his.Ó
Two or three years ago, I announced that the entire staff could have Columbus Day off because they had worked so hard getting school started that year. I didnÕt know my son, Jon, our admissions director and a vice president, wanted his staff to use that day to complete the annual report and to interview candidates answering an ad the school had placed for a new instructor. Needless to say, my decision to give everyone the day off without consulting Jon was very frustrating for him.
After that experience, I now try hard to consult with my vice presidents before making any decision over which they have control. Changes or adjustments in office or school rules or routine have to be presented as managementÕs decisions, not as Òwhat Mom or Dad has decided to do.Ó
To discourage rivalries, find a job that fits each of your offspring best. Competitive feelings among siblings can become heightened in the workplace. Our children display the normal run of rivalries present in large, healthy families. We have found that the best way to prevent rivalries from erupting into a problem for the business is to find Òthe right slotÓ for each family member. We have been fortunate in being able to do this while, at the same time, helping to fill the schoolÕs needs.
My oldest son, Jay, took a few years off to go to law school. When he completed his degree, he wanted to come back into the business; he was a little resentful at seeing his younger brothers, Tom and Jon, ensconced in important jobs while he was on the outside, starting his law practice. One day I was frantically trying to find an instructor to teach legal terminology. My husband pointed out that Jay, with his law school education, was an ideal candidate. He accepted the position, and the entire family celebrated the solution to the dayÕs crisis. Jay now chairs our paralegal course, and has been overseeing the placement and training of some 100 paralegal graduates a year, placing them with law firms, courts, and government agencies. We had found his slot.
Through various trial-and-error scenarios, we have been able to find the right place for each of our offspring, and I hope they feel equal. Our final challenge will be to find the right slot for our youngest daughter, Laura. She graduated from the mop and pail 10 years ago, completed undergraduate school, took our paralegal course, and went to St. MaryÕs Law School in San Antonio, Texas. She joined us in March as an attorney. (Both she and my other daughter are also married to attorneys.)
Ask family members for help in solving your problems. Listening to family members and sharing your problems with them can help you find solutions. For instance, a consultant had recommended that we appoint a person to keep attendance records, since regulators frequently examine them. ItÕs a very tedious job, and the family wondered out loud how we would ever find the right person. A daughter-in-law who had recently joined the company spoke up, asking for the job. She did it conscientiously and has earned everyoneÕs gratitude in an important role.
Our children are always looking for ways to expand the business. After Jay took his teenage son to a driving class, he suggested that we could put together a better driving course at our school. That has became our latest project. We are also looking into adding courses in the medical field and on computer repair, both of which are in great demand.
Keep meetings focused on the business at hand, but have some fun, too. Regular meetings are helpful in maintaining a family business. Our meetings take place almost daily during the lunch hour and are attended by most family members. We discuss personnel matters, the operation of the school, the management of our in-house cafeteria, maintenance problems, and whatÕs going on in our families. One issue that sparked lively debate was whether to lease space in our building to an organization for a day care center. The facility would certainly help our marketability, since many of our students are single mothers. The members of our family who have pre-school children liked the idea as well. The attorneys in our group, however, felt that we had to consider liability and other complications. So the idea was tabled for further study.
I try to keep these discussions on track, but the meetings are informal. Not infrequently, the conversation includes updates on the grandchildren and, of course, on the prospects for ÒAmericaÕs Team,Ó the Dallas Cowboys. I donÕt see this occasional straying from the business at hand as a violation of good corporate decorum or practice. Rather, it reminds us of what we have in common as a family and why we want to remain in business together.
Our mission is Òto train todayÕs workforce for tomorrowÕs jobsÓÑan ideal promulgated by my husbandÕs father, who was for many years a supervisor of vocational education in the Cleveland public schools. We reaffirm this mission every year at an annual retreat over the New YearÕs holiday. The occasion strengthens our family unity and helps motivate us for the year ahead. We meet as a board in a hotel and establish goals for the year, and then we celebrate with a dinner and family party.
Remember that everyone who works hard should benefit equally. Our growth in the early years was virtually unplanned. The bigger our school gets, however, the less we can leave to chance, and the more we have to think about the future. That means planning.
Our children donÕt talk about the line of succession, but my husband and I have a hunch they all think about it. Questions about succession always lie just beneath the surface of a family business. Who gets what?
We havenÕt yet decided who will be the next leader or leaders of the company. Whatever plan we come up with will have to be ÒfairÓ to all our children. Currently, our estate plan calls for an equal division of assets among the five offspring. We will seek assistance from an experienced attorney in this area. Everybody in our family business knows that the bottom line is what counts; no matter who is the leader, our children understand that if they work hard, they will reap the benefits for themselves and their families.
Delegate responsibilityÑand tell your family how much you appreciate their efforts. Presiding over a family business constantly brings new challenges and opportunities. If things continue to go as they have thus far, one day some of our 10 grandchildren may be knocking at the door for work. I feel a tremendous amount of responsibility and gratitude toward all my family. I tell them frequently how much I appreciate their efforts. Our grown children work at our school for purposes of family unity, and because we believe as a family in our mission to help people acquire marketable skills for the benefit of their families.
Because I prefer the role of mother to boss, I have delegated more and more responsibilities to our familyÕs bright, well-educated second generation, and IÕm taking more time off to go fishinÕÑa happy combination for all. You can mother too much. IÕve found that absence makes abilities grow stronger. I also have learned you donÕt own a business; the business owns you.
Ronda Vecchio is president of the Arlington Career Institute in Grand Prairie, Texas, which she founded 17 years ago.