J.P. Morgan was a confused and depressed underachiever when a Philadelphia banker named Anthony Drexel took young Morgan under his wing and transformed him into a world-beating financial titan who made Drexel rich. And of course you know about the miracle that Anne Sullivan performed for Helen Keller.
On the other hand, the young printer’s apprentice Benjamin Franklin so detested his mentor—his older half-brother James—that he fled Boston permanently to Philadelphia.
Whenever families talk about preparing sons and daughters for the future, somebody usually suggests the use of mentors. But inspiring (or discouraging) anecdotes aside, does mentoring really benefit the business involved? The answers are inconclusive.
Q. How many active family business owners actually are able and willing to skillfully develop or mentor younger family members?
A. The percentage is unknown but believed to be low.
Q. Many successful business owners may be unwilling to serve as mentors or lack needed skills. Are there decent data on other options?
A. No.
In the absence of any data, allow me to offer a few suggestions that may help tip the scales between mentoring success and failure.
Most mentoring conversations focus on younger members of the controlling family. The employing company will bear the cash costs in hopes of receiving a long-term benefit. The protégé will receive the greatest benefit, since the resulting skills, knowledge and contacts will be his to keep. So it’s important to ensure that the mentor and anyone else involved in the process see some immediate benefit for themselves.
What’s more, mentoring strategies or tactics used in past years must be revisited carefully. Huge changes in the way business operates have rendered many traditional training activities irrelevant. And younger folks, as a group, now mature more slowly. Often restricted to long years in school with only limited opportunities for responsibility, they’ve been denied the kinds of real-life learning vital to real success.
These new facts of business life call for careful planning—and some experiments. What were the important lessons learned from earlier development experiences? How can these root lessons or values be learned in a modern business environment?
The earlier lessons were learned by folks in a first- or second-generation business family, who may have lived with high risk and skimpy backup resources. Third- or fourth-generation youngsters, raised in affluence with little fear of failure, may lack the hunger that fuels extra work effort.
A good, tight mentoring policy requires that we invest only in those sons and daughters likely to possess both talent and motivation. Parents may be unable to perceive their children’s deficiencies clearly. So logic dictates that you develop a few key non-family employees as mentors and apply a classic return-on-investment yardstick.
How do you gracefully weed out ineligible family members? Try this guideline:
All family who are employed in the business and performing well will be eligible for assistance in growing as far as they can. If they hit a limit, they may stay with the business so long as they perform well and their job (or some equivalent) continues to exist. If they become dissatisfied, they’ll be assisted in moving to a better-fitting job somewhere else.
This policy isn’t truly cost-efficient. But it is family-effective. To save money in ways that may harm family unity isn’t sensible. Even the mighty management developers like Procter & Gamble and General Electric have recognized they’ll lose half of the folks they develop. But the other half, who remain, keep growth and profits flowing.
The high failure rate of mentoring is related directly to insufficient thinking at the front end. Many a non-family executive who agreed to be a mentor has been tarred after an unsuccessful effort. Their coaching efforts with an unmotivated person turned into pushing rope up a hill. You must also be wary of volunteer mentors with hidden agendas, like the one who told me, “My mentoring assignment is job security for my shaky position here.”
Most effective mentors have plenty of life experience, listen well and genuinely wish the best for the person they’re coaching. They’re not too young, nor do they hold any position of potential rivalry. People who are quick to give advice shouldn’t serve. A prior history of mentoring success is the best credential.
Mentors may be drawn from the family, but few parents are good mentors to their own children, mainly because the kids often stopped listening in adolescence. Uncles, aunts, grandparents or cousins may be qualified and agree to take on the task. Company advisers (like accountants, attorneys or consultants) and outside directors are resources. So are non-competing longtime executives of the company or friendly community leaders. Younger women may prefer female mentors—a desire that should be honored. Multiple mentors may provide help in a variety of areas.
Above all, the mentor must be willing. Nobody should undertake this job solely from a feeling of obligation. The only real reward is the long-term satisfaction at helping another to grow.
What exactly do mentors do? Listening to the whole story, without interruption, is a big help to those who need counsel. On the other hand, a mentor is no substitute for a qualified therapist if that’s what’s really needed.
Questioning is a mentor’s second most important function. Drawing out details of actual or perceived problems or obstacles helps the apprentice to clarify her thinking. The best outcomes result when the protégé arrives at his own conclusions as a result of a mentor’s questions.
The mentor’s third function is to open doors. Mentors who are widely acquainted and have broad knowledge are most helpful here.
Providing feedback is a very important function, too. The mentor usually knows some of the key players in the candidate’s world of work pretty well. The senior executive can help interpret what’s going on and define reality further when that’s needed. But the trust relationship must be good, so constructively critical feedback will be given and accepted.
The mentor also functions as an advocate, remaining alert to opportunities that may help the apprentice grow. The mentor will inevitably be asked for opinions about the candidate, so she must remain up-to-date on the protégé’s interests and achievements.
In any continuing relationship—mentoring included—things aren’t always smooth. Does the protégé have to take the mentor’s advice? If multiple mentors differ on some matter, what’s the appropriate course? A contingency plan for how to deal with these issues will prevent a lot of trouble.
Most of us have benefited from mentors at various times in our lives. Those who benefit the most tend to be those whose mentors are best prepared.
James E. Barrett (jebcmc99@aol.com) heads the family business practice of Cresheim Inc. in Philadelphia.