I’m not sure who coined the term “married-ins,” but it certainly is an appropriate way to refer to spouses of family business owners. At our recent Transitions West 2011 conference in San Francisco, we presented a lively breakout session in which married-ins—those who work in the business as well as those who do not—shared their experiences.
The session, facilitated by Saybrook University professor and family business consultant Dennis Jaffe, highlighted the many roles a married-in can play in the family. According to Jaffe, married-ins “bring new DNA to the family and enable the family to access some important skills.”
Spouses who do not work in the family firm can educate themselves about the business by creating learning forums, participating in family councils and attending (and planning) family meetings or reunions that incorporate fun activities. They can also attend certain business functions and show interest through conversation. One spouse, who does not work in her husband’s business, said she serves as his sounding board for many difficult decisions.
An in-law who worked his way up to senior management commented, “The most challenging part of being a married-in is to have the organization see and believe in the skills you can bring to the table.” His advice was to “vigorously keep your skills up to date, pursue external employment opportunities, take on challenging projects and constantly be in communication with all levels of employees in the business.” Another participant suggested engaging a mentor or coach and creating a specific career development plan.
The group discussed how a married-in can serve as “a bridge between the family and the employees.” In a unique way, the role offers opportunities to assess staff morale and to express to the family the true feelings of the employees. Married-ins bring a different perspective, which can open up family members to receiving employee feedback.
A business family’s ability to innovate “becomes immeasurably greater” when the family encourages the involvement of its newer members and uses them as a resource, Jaffe said.
Yet problems can arise if spouses who do not work in the business try to intervene in day-to-day operations. My 90-year-old father-in-law, Milt, feels very strongly that it requires vision to build and run a family business, and a spouse who is not legitimately part of the business should “stay out.”
Milt says married-ins who work in the family business should recognize that in the office, their status as a spouse is irrelevant; being a valuable employee is essential. As a married-in working in the business myself, I quite agree!
Copyright 2011 by Family Business Magazine. This article may not be posted online or reproduced in any form, including photocopy, without permssion from the publisher. For reprint information, contact bwenger@familybusinessmagazine.com.